Frauline and Gentlemen,
For too long now, false rumors and innuendo have surrounded this most mysteriousest of films, Tropic Thunder. So today I put and end to the speculation. For the first time in documentary history (not because I can’t find a theater to play it, I totally could, but people that run theaters prefer to live in a comfortable, sanitized bubble of lies), I am publishing my findings, free of charge, on the world wide internet. It is high time the public see the horror that I have seen.
What I have created and given you for free, is a masterpiece that is sure to win not just numerous awards, but also your hearts and minds. The awards will of course mean nothing, and if I become a world renowned celebrity filmmaker, so be it. It is the price I am willing to pay for delivering truth to power.
I would like to thank all the people out there who have sent me countless encouraging emails while I made this film, Dan and Carl. Your words meant so much. And to the rest of you, thank you for taking this journey with me. Please, sit back, buckle your seat harness, and prepare to step through the looking glass. Oh, and be sure to bring an umbrella… because you will no doubt get caught, like I did, not just in the Thunder….but also, its ‘Rain of Madness.’