Hallö.
        I am German born filmmaker Jan Jürgen. I am writing to you from Vietnam, after documenting the making of a Hollywood classic called, Tropic Thunder.” While the actors and filmmakers try to tell their story of heroism set in the chaos of the Vietnam War, I too will be telling a story. One that has never, until now, been told. A story that I have wanted to tell since I was a child.
        Like all of you, I have for many year been fascinated by that most magicalest of all places; "Hollywood." As a boy, I would go to the cinema, and marvel at the people on the silver screen. But even as a boy I remember thinking; "Is there a more forbidding, more sinister side than the glittering facade held up by the powerful arms of the Studio System?”
        Of course, this is the question of a child, but that question still follows me today. Imagine my surprise when Damien Cockburn, my former classmate from University, called me on the telephone and asked me to travel to Vietnam and aim my camera at him as he directed his first Hollywood movie. He claimed it will be “the greatest war movie ever” in which many movie stars, including Tugg Speedman, would appear. Could he really be talking about the Tugg Speedman? Could Damien, the awkward theater student I once knew, now be the speak of the town?
       This blog, and the documentary I am working on, will address not just these questions, but more. What will follow is a raw, unedited, look behind the fetid flesh curtain known to you and me as simply "Hollywood."

Danke you for taking this journey with me.

 Sincerely,
 J. Jürgen
 Ho Chi Minh 2008.

 

 

UP HIGH

Damien’s patience seems to be growing thin. Though no one will confirm them, rumors have been circulating that there are enormous creative differences between Damien and the studio. Additionally, I have recently learned that long ago Damien lost the casting battle, and that virtually none of the casting choices have been his own.

These growing pressures, and his contempt for certain cast members, seems to be taking their toll on our poor director. This was starkly illustrated when I sat down to interview Damien and the films lovable emotional center, “Fats” played by Jeff Portnoy. The character of Fats has several scenes that require enormous dramatic talents. Portnoy however, seems to be treating all scenes, including the one I captured here, as fodder for his childish and moronic jokes.

The Official Site of Jeff Portnoy

"You have something to say about Rain of Madness? Post your thoughts here! Compliments, complaints, poetry, or prose are all welcome. Or just let us know that you were here and that you care!"
DanOhh

Everyone talks about how great Portnoy was in The Fatties but they were all the same stupid jokes that he used in Fart Club, but with make-up on. HOW JEFF PORTNOY WAS ABLE TO GET IN THE SAME MOVIE AS KIRK LAZARUS I’LL NEVER NOW!!! FARTnoy LOL, shouldn’t even be allowed in the same city as Mr. Lazarus let alone movie.

Mr.Dude

Dude, you are like so wrong, I saw The Fatties like ten times, and it was funny shit man, how that retard Lazarus ever got involved in somfin that’ll be as awesome as anofer Portnoy flick is beyond me. i mean, he better be playin like ten roles of all 3 gendres you dig?

Danielle

I don’t care what you haters say, Portnoy is the best! Fart Club? It changed my life.

TEN high-fives to you, Jeff!

Delanie Macintosh

Poeple seem to forget that the first Fatties had a budget of $35 million and was nominated for a Golden Globe for makeup work. Fatties II, on the other hand, had a budget of $87 million (due to CG post-production costs) and was still FORTY MINUTES SHORTER. You *cannot* argue with money. And that nonsense about the sub-story about the mistaken-identity of “the dessert substance” never being resolved? Listen to the commentaries!

Cory

I saw an advance screening of TROPIC THUNDER at the San Diego Comic-Con last week — TROPIC THUNDER WAS AWESOME!!!

I’ll be seeing it again opening day!

Bob

Tugg Speedman is a hack of an actor, although Scorcher II was pretty good.

Samantha Scott

High five. Do it. Not say it.

Nick

yo

Mary Matthews Flasche

I am a mother of two boys with special needs. A little over ten years ago, both boys were diagnosed with autism and MR within 6 months. For quite some time I was sensitive about labels and the “R” word, but as my sons grew, I knew they were more than that. When the Ringer came out, I took my 13 year old to see it. He laughed his arse off. I was so excited about going to see this movie until I found that it will not be played in my city. I have to drive to Park City Utah to see it, but I am bound and determined to. This country has become too politially correct and without comedy, I know I would go nuts. I will write back as soon as I see it.
Mary Matthews Flasche

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